It was last night when I saw the words that made my world stop. I could feel the coldness seeping through my soul and conquering it as I watch my nightmare become a reality.

I was expecting it to happen. While I was in the bus, he called me to tell that we got to have a serious talk. I was really worried but I couldn’t do anything but pray that it was just a bad feeling, a negative thought that would later disappear. I tried to comfort myself because I've always trusted his words. I've always trusted him whenever he said he'd never leave me.

It's been 17 months since we confessed our feelings for each other. And within those months, we've experienced many things; things that we thought to have only exist in movies. I never thought that it is the kind of love story I'd have. There is too much twists and turns which are even more than that in movies. I hate to make it sound exaggerated but that's just how our story goes.

He was and is always special for me. There is something about him that made me fall in love this much. But until now, I can't find what that something is. It's probably because that something is every little thing about him. It was with him that I experienced the greatest feeling I've ever had – falling in love. I can't exactly explain how it feels. But I know it had always been great. The pains brought by our problems were never a pain for us. They served as challenges that we have to overcome; opportunities for us to be one. It used to be like that. We used to see hope in every circumstances. But now, as the nightmare continues to play, I watch our memories turn gray; I watch myself feel helpless.

He'd be sent back to his country to study. There was nothing wrong about that. I didn't find anything wrong with that. But he was worried he'd be there for good and he couldn't be with me anymore. He's afraid he'd be stuck in there forever. And as he continued, he stabbed me with words that tore me apart. He was asking me to forget him. The world seemed to close down on me. I remembered the bad feeling I had while I was in the bus. I remembered my prayers. I realized that they weren't heard. I stared blankly and thought about what he said. He was making a point when he asked me what if he was just wasting my time. My heart disagreed. He was never a waste of time and he will never be. I've always known that every single moment with him was a treasure. I admired him for his guts. I made him a strong person, so now I guess he won't be needing me anymore. There was never a problem that we've never solved before. But this time, I felt as though we're going to fail this one, and the consequence would be putting an x mark on forever.

My sickness got in the way while we were chatting, but I was thankful for it because it made him calm me even for a while. I know everything he said was uncertain, but I know I have to believe them. I have to put my trust in him when he told me he won't leave me, even though I know he was just saying that so my situation won't be grave. He realized he's messing with my health now so he has to stop with all his bullshit and make promises that I know would be broken.

It's the first time he hurt me so much that it was to the point that I found my existence inessential; to the point that I questioned why God is doing this to me. But behind all those, I thank my parents for raising me to be strong. I know I have some strength left, and if needed, I'm going to be exhausting it just to save our relationship.

I remembered something while I was in the bus; it was something I couldn’t explain but it was as though God made me think that He would never put us to a test where He knows we can't surpass. As I realize God's purpose, the coldness was melted. I became a stronger person.

I will always believe that we are meant for each other. After all, things will change. And with God's help, we'll be together in time. I don't believe in letting go. It was never an option, and even if it was, I would never choose it. I would rather believe the unbelievable and do the impossible rather than to let go and regret it in the end. What matters now is that we still both love each other, and with God, our love can conquer everything.

It was last night when I saw the words that made my world stop. I could feel the coldness seeping through my soul and conquering it as I watch my nightmare become a reality.

I was expecting it to happen. While I was in the bus, he called me to tell that we got to have a serious talk. I was really worried but I couldn’t do anything but pray that it was just a bad feeling, a negative thought that would later disappear. I tried to comfort myself because I've always trusted his words. I've always trusted him whenever he said he'd never leave me.

It's been 17 months since we confessed our feelings for each other. And within those months, we've experienced many things; things that we thought to have only exist in movies. I never thought that it is the kind of love story I'd have. There is too much twists and turns which are even more than that in movies. I hate to make it sound exaggerated but that's just how our story goes.

He was and is always special for me. There is something about him that made me fall in love this much. But until now, I can't find what that something is. It's probably because that something is every little thing about him. It was with him that I experienced the greatest feeling I've ever had – falling in love. I can't exactly explain how it feels. But I know it had always been great. The pains brought by our problems were never a pain for us. They served as challenges that we have to overcome; opportunities for us to be one. It used to be like that. We used to see hope in every circumstances. But now, as the nightmare continues to play, I watch our memories turn gray; I watch myself feel helpless.

He'd be sent back to his country to study. There was nothing wrong about that. I didn't find anything wrong with that. But he was worried he'd be there for good and he couldn't be with me anymore. He's afraid he'd be stuck in there forever. And as he continued, he stabbed me with words that tore me apart. He was asking me to forget him. The world seemed to close down on me. I remembered the bad feeling I had while I was in the bus. I remembered my prayers. I realized that they weren't heard. I stared blankly and thought about what he said. He was making a point when he asked me what if he was just wasting my time. My heart disagreed. He was never a waste of time and he will never be. I've always known that every single moment with him was a treasure. I admired him for his guts. I made him a strong person, so now I guess he won't be needing me anymore. There was never a problem that we've never solved before. But this time, I felt as though we're going to fail this one, and the consequence would be putting an x mark on forever.

My sickness got in the way while we were chatting, but I was thankful for it because it made him calm me even for a while. I know everything he said was uncertain, but I know I have to believe them. I have to put my trust in him when he told me he won't leave me, even though I know he was just saying that so my situation won't be grave. He realized he's messing with my health now so he has to stop with all his bullshit and make promises that I know would be broken.

It's the first time he hurt me so much that it was to the point that I found my existence inessential; to the point that I questioned why God is doing this to me. But behind all those, I thank my parents for raising me to be strong. I know I have some strength left, and if needed, I'm going to be exhausting it just to save our relationship.

I remembered something while I was in the bus; it was something I couldn’t explain but it was as though God made me think that He would never put us to a test where He knows we can't surpass. As I realize God's purpose, the coldness was melted. I became a stronger person.

I will always believe that we are meant for each other. After all, things will change. And with God's help, we'll be together in time. I don't believe in letting go. It was never an option, and even if it was, I would never choose it. I would rather believe the unbelievable and do the impossible rather than to let go and regret it in the end. What matters now is that we still both love each other, and with God, our love can conquer everything.